Co workers treat me HORRIBLE….what to do?
I work for a law firm. I am new. I was hired to be a receptionist, but aspiring for a promotion to office manager. There are only (4) of us in the office. I have had many years office management experience. I am on time. I always ask if I can help. I have a profession nice appearance. I am polite to everyone. I do my very best on the job. I am eager to learn.
I am 15 years older then the office assistant and 20 years old than one of the lawyers (I am old enough to be his mother) and about the same age as the main lawyer, maybe a few years older (I have no issues with him)
The "2" (how I will refer to the young lawyer and office assistant I have problems with) have experience, talent and education in areas other than office management, PR and advertising.
I truly have good ideas and intentions. They refuse to accept me as trusted member of the office. I want to manage the office, not the people. I have good tried and true S.O.P suggestions I have used in the past that will make this office grow. The following is what I go through daily (that is, when the main lawyer is out of the office)
When the main lawyer is in the office, we ALL go to lunch, when the main lawyer is gone the "2" go to lunch without asking me (mind you, that means there are 2 out of the 3 going to lunch, I am left behind to work, I no longer have keys to the office, I can not leave, you never know how long they will be gone. I can't get back in)
The "2" will go into an office and shut the door (leaving me out) they will be in there 30-90 min, flamboyantly laughing and whooping it up. When the main lawyer is in we have an office meeting that includes all of us and no office doors are EVER closed, NEVER.
We were instructed by the main lawyer to "decorate" the new office as a team. The day I was off, the "2" have the decorator come to choose colors, style and decor.(I have the same day of the week off, they deliberately scheduled this)
The "2" gave me a task list of 3-4 hours of "busy work" and went to a long lunch and picked out furniture (we are capable of locking the office, all leaving and forwarding calls to cells)
The "2" will NEVER answer my e-mails (not even a "K")
The "2" will NEVER answer my text (not even a "K")
The young lawyer speaks and looks at me with disdain
The "2" will NEVER try any of my new ideas or suggestions, they hem haw around and say they don't know if they like them or not
I e-mailed the young lawyer with an ad for an office that was closing, they were going to liquidate and sell their office equipment inexpensively....no one would ever consider my suggestion, it would have saved money
The "2" invited the account (she is an independent contractor in the office about 6 hours per week) to go look at the new office paint and carpet....walked right past my office and did not say "hey, come on, we are going down stairs to take a look"
At one time the young lawyer fired me, he said "you can finish out the day, I would prefer that you go ahead and leave now" when the main lawyer heard I was fired, he invited me back (it is HIS firm) and this is how we have been working ever since. The main lawyer is gone a lot and there is no one to referee. I love my job, but the people (the "2") suck! In today's economy I want to save my job.
Remind you, this is not about a popularity contest. I have many friends outside the office, I no longer like the "2". I am not looking to be their friend, we are past that point now. I am not insulted that I don't get to go to lunch with them, I am insulted by their immaturity. I find it hard to work where no one respects you or the job your are trying to do. To have every move scrutinized and picked on is difficult.
My question is this....do you read the outline of things that I endure and believe I have reason to complain? Do you think this would bother anyone, or do you think I am too sensitive?
Thank you,
Waiting for you verdict! LOL
* 2 hours ago
* - 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
I should add....when I started with the firm several months ago....the "2" did not like each other, the young lawyer wanted to fire the office assistant. I don't believe they "2" like each other now. I think they have the mentality "we had a good thing going until you came along" attitude. The "2" don't want to be the ones who sat there with no ideas nor do they want to do things differently now.
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I pray you stay strong and firm as a great employee. Just remember your goals and aspirations and never, ever let anyone turn you around. Because if you leave you will always wonder what could’ve been. I went through something similiar. It’s hard and can be taxing on you emmotionally. I would encourage to keep a journal. Because when things happen at work, it’s so fresh on your mind at the time. A week might go by and you might forget some important details. Also I would encourage you to talk to the Head Boss. He seems to really like you as a employee and he seems fair. If he knew about all that you shared, I believe it would be some changes. Let him know you wanna talk to him in confidence because you’re scared of the ramifications. I would suggest to him that he put in a secret camera so he can observe for himself exactly what is going on. Their conduct is completely unprofessional. I know he wouldn’t leave his office open to lawsuits. Those 2 employees have created a hostile work environment in my opinion. Never feel as though you have to put up with this. YOU DON’T!! They are in my opinion they are bullys! You keep your head up and don’t let them distract you from your goals. This situation goes on in more work places than you realize. It’s how you handle it that can be a learning tools for others watching in that same situations. Make your Boss aware of the situation. especially before it gets to the point where you hate to go to work. When you thinking and worrying about this situation even when you’re off. When you take work on mentally. I pray that this situation completely changes for the positive. Remember we teach people how to treat us and you have to send a message to those 2 employees that their beha vior is not ok. You are somebody and you will be treated like somebody. If they wanna play at work then maybe they should consider working at the video or gaming store. Right now their not being healthy contributors as employees. They are being a nuisance and interuption. Please make your boss aware and please sugges the secret camera. Good luck! I know everything is gonna be okay. You have career goals and I wish you continued success and Peace of Mind for you. Please Let Me Know How things are going for you. Take it one day at a time. Please continue to pray in good and bad times.
sometimes it may not be you, or not to be mean, you may be doing something that rubs them wrong and you don’t even know about it. we had this guy come and work in our newspaper once and he was friendly, polite, helpful and the most annoying person i have ever met. he tried too hard to make us like him which in turn made us resent him. he ended up being asked to quit and once he was gone we all got along with him fine. all of us had worked together for years and when he came he just assumed he could chime in on private conversations, laugh at jokes he didn’t understand and when we’d all go to lunch he’s just show up uninvited. maybe you aren’t doing anything wrong, but everyone else might just be stuck in their own routine or rut.
I think this is an unfourtante treatement of people by the firm. I would suggest looking for another job and I would complain to your boss in a private meeting.
I know you have given a lot of info but its still hard to say so keep in mind I am only guessing.
Some people in a workplace just want someone to hate. I have worked in a place like this and they all hated this one woman. When she left they hated me. I think its a self esteem issue. The thing is it sounds like the lawyer maybe wanted someone to hate and he had the office assistant lined up but you came along and he decided you were a better candidate. So he had to team up with her cos she was the only one left. And lets face it she has to be his friend cos he is more her boss than you are and he has more capacity to fire her.
It could be an age difference thing but I don’t think that is really any excuse on their part. I am friends with people way older than me.
You may be right they may have had things really cruisy until you came along and tried to organise things. Perhaps they were having a really good time and not getting much done and now they resent you because you are trying to actually run the office like a business. And maybe cos you are older they interpret that as kind of being their mother. So they act like brat children and try and rebel from you.
I mean I know its stupid and its not your fault but keep in mind that the head lawyer needs the other lawyer more than he needs an office manager. So potentially that younger lawyer has more power there than you do.
I don’t think these people will change. In fact I think they will actively obstruct you in your job. You can stay there for a while but eventually it will grind you down. You could talk to the head lawyer about it but it won’t make much difference because he is hardly there and the others will do what they want when he is not around.
If they hadn’t teamed up the situation might not be so intolerable but circumstances beyond your control have already resulted in that. The power balance is on their side.
I don’t really think any of this is your fault. Its just bad luck really. If i were you I would start looking discreetly for another job.
Sorry this is happening. They sound like tossers. Try not to let them get to you.
I could not, and would not, work with people like that unless I was paid really, really, really well. And by well, I mean $40,000 a year or more. Then I would just ignore them totally and do my job. If they decide to take a long lunch, I would happily eat at my desk, leave calls go to voicemail and tool the Internet.
I might even say something to the lawyer you do get along with, just to see if others have complained and maybe he is waiting for you to come forward – and perhaps if you did – maybe he would get rid of them. You never know.
But mostly, I would seriously look for a new job.